One of my favourite songs is River’s Edge, by the Great Lake Swimmers (which I had not heard when I named my blog – for the record) I am a little obsessed with rivers, and feel very blessed to live by a very beautiful river.
I don’t now why I have this connection with rivers. I think it’s because they represent hope, energy, life, and also remind us of how fleeting and perilous life can be. They make beautiful noise, and draw life to them, and also send life out from them.
When I listen to that song, I get pulled into the current of my memories and just abandon myself to it. When I do this, I let myself go to those places that on most days, I just can’t. No time to go there. What’s the use of going there? Why would anyone WANT to go there.
To the place where I try to remember how my Mom moved. How did she walk? What did her voice sound like…I can’t remember now. I wish I could go back, but I am swept downriver. All I can do is swim in the direction life is taking me. And let go.
Time, like a river flows. Sometimes fast, sometimes it meanders. Sometimes it will suck you under and take your breath away.
I remember sitting for hours by a river in the mountains watching my future husband fly fishing. I would paint, or write. Sometimes I would do a little fishing myself. The sunlight sparkled off the ripples on the water. Our future together, like the river, so clear and “full of potential”.
Time gives us new beginnings, carries us out of the rapids and into the flats, where we can get a break.
I finally found the memory card that has all of our photos on it since my first son was born. I thought it was gone. I was watching a short video of my oldest son (who was two at the time) singing a song to his twin baby brothers. It was in their nursery, and as I watched, I could barely recognize the room, the babies…it was like watching someone else’s home movie. I didn’t remember those curtains, or the way the small room looked, jammed with two cribs, dusk setting in through a window of a home I moved out of only three years ago – but in so many ways, a lifetime ago.
Time plays tricks on us. It gives and takes away. It flows faster than we can swim. So we need to surrender and let the river carry us through it all.
Be Blessed and find a river to sit by for a while…