We are having a heat wave in the Pacific Northwest, and I am severely irritated.
You see, I am of Ukrainian – Norwegian descent and there is nothing in my being that “does well” in the heat. I burn, I rash, I get hives. I peel. And being hot makes me lethargic, puffy (er) and irritable. Doing nothing due to the heat-induced lethargy makes me feel guilty and crappy, which makes me even more irritable.
This heat wave coincides with us returning from a fun, yet extremely fast and hectic road trip to visit relatives in Alberta, where it was also record breaking hot. I have barely recovered from the “Big City Hot” and now I am faced with “Coastal Town Hot”, which isn’t nearly as bad as the latter, but still irritating.
It also coincides with the middle of the summer, which means the “fingernails-on-chalkboard” whining has started with the children.
“Mu-um, I’m bored!”
“Mu-um! My brothers are bugging me!”
“Mu-um, why can’t we go to the lake?” (for the fifty millionth time this week)
Also, the dog is following me around panting and slobbering, and sitting on my feet. Normally I like it when he sits on my feet. But in 34 degrees celsius, he can take his 90 pound hot and hairy arse and get it AWAY from me.
It’s too hot to walk the dog, too hot to exercise outside, too hot to think. This is not my ideal situation. I can’t even muster up the energy to be “fun Mommy” and do all those “keeping cool on hot days” activities that Pinterest says I should do.
You see, I am a puffier girl, and I am a (very) fair girl, and I just WILT in this heat. Like a big, pink, flower.
Now, to add to the torture, the town that we live in has just announced a water use ban. This means that the only activity I currently enjoy – turning on all my sprinklers and spraying everything until it is fresh and cold…the plants, the garden, the kids, the dog…myself, while sipping a very cold gin & tonic, is not allowed.
Kill me now.
We are lucky enough to live surrounded by the ocean, lakes, and rivers, but the effort it takes to get my three kids, the dog, seventeen “floaty” toys, lunch, umbrella, sunscreen and hats packed into the van, it’s just…well…it makes me feel old. And sweaty. And pink.
So, someone please tell me that I am not the worst person ever for wishing this heat wave would be over. Bring on the cool winds, hockey season, and school! Then throw me a sweater and call me cured!