The Heart of the Matter

police hug It’s too complicated for me to tackle.

People are going to have their opinions no matter what happens.

It’s too big.

My words won’t make a difference.

I don’t know what really happened – maybe they are right to be angry…

All the thoughts that are going through my head week after week as I struggle with my emotions.

I am the frustrated wife of a cop.

I read a blog post the other day, posted by a friend of mine, that picked apart the incident in Ferguson.  One comment (among hundreds slamming policing in America, and police in general) stated that “ANY COP THAT SAYS HE’S AFRAID FOR HIS LIFE WHILE HOLDING A HANDGUN IS FULL OF SHIT”.

I could have screamed.  I know a cop who IS scared, even though he carries a gun.  A cop who is NOT a racist, but would shoot-to-kill anyone of any colour who was going to attack him or try to take his weapon (because he is a Dad and wants to come home at the end of his shift and isn’t going to let some cracked-out scumbag thief take all that away from him or anyone else.)  A cop who goes out every day to protect our streets from more danger than we could ever conceive. It makes me want to scream.  It makes me wish for just ONE DAY of “no response” from law enforcement, so that the people of our communities who have NO CLUE, but think they do, could get a better idea of what happens when there are no officers to respond.  I’m sick to my stomach when I think about some of the asinine crap I have read lately.

Those of you who understand – can you imagine the rats that would come crawling out of the sewers by the thousands if we declared just ONE DAY “no officers responding” day???

PEOPLE – you would be in danger.  I can guarantee that.

And you would get the chance to feel how it feels to be afraid when a criminal is chasing you down – even if you have a gun.

Want to know what I think?  Right at this moment,  I think I want my husband to change careers.  Why?  Because he is working in a thankless, dangerous career.   And it is only getting worse as time goes on.  I see him changing every day.   Partly because of what he deals with at his job – but PAY ATTENTION HERE – WORSENED by what he sees happening to police officers across the nation, mostly due to terrible journalism.

Hated.  Ostracized. Judged. Picked apart by the media. Attacked for doing their job.

It’s a job that on most days, they are happy to do.  So, this is how we support our officers? We should be ashamed of ourselves for having ANY opinion until we educate and equip ourselves with the truth.  And we should be careful what we do with that truth.

I think most people have no idea what our officers are dealing with every day.  I know I didn’t before my husband became an officer. If your town seems quiet and free of crime,  look again.  Check the crime statistics online.  Stay up for a few nights in a row and count how many times you hear sirens while the world sleeps.

I think that our police officers are in danger.  Yes, because they deal with dangerous criminals – but also because the rest of us don’t trust them to do their job. We don’t BACK THEM UP.   There is this pathetic crowd mentality that all police are power-hungry, fearless, armed, racists?, white-priviledged?, muscle-headed, adrenaline junkies, fighters, gun-happy…all words I have read in the media lately.  I see it on friends’ Facebook posts.  I hear it in the line-ups at the grocery store. IF what I read and hear is true, police are not thought of as people.  They are machines.  Not thinking, intelligent, conscientious members of society.  Machines with guns ,who, because they have guns, have all the power, no fear and can do anything they feel like doing to anyone.  And when they use their guns, they will have to defend why they used the gun that the people put in their hand in the first place. Because no one will want that mess on their hands.

Blame the machine.

The criminal becomes the protected.

The cop, becomes the criminal.

He is no longer one man, just doing the best that he can do that day.  He is the machine. He will be judged guilty before he goes to court.  He will be exonerated, but still punished. He will have to hide.  His family will need to move. He will have to step down or get fired.  He did his job.  But he shouldn’t have.

I wonder if he wished he had let the guy take his gun now? Should officers just let it come?  Come take my weapon, beat me up, ram my police car – if I die, maybe people will see that YOU are the criminal, and I was a cop doing my job.  Do cops have to die before people understand the sacrifice they make?  Seems like it is so.

My sincere and heartfelt thank-you to ALL first responders who read this.  And to your families too – who support you through this career.  Be brave.  Be safe.  You are not a machine.  You are important.  I, for one, know what you do is so very difficult.  It is my prayer that you will have a rewarding, as well as physically and mentally safe and healthy career.   Thank you! Bearmama

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2 Responses to The Heart of the Matter

  1. rightingme says:

    Thank you for writing these honest and brave words. You are so right. If there’d been an indictment then the Justin Bourques of the world would have rejoiced in affirmation of their assault on our very safety. Canada may be a different country, but this verdict had large implications for the safety of our own officers here. Sending prayer that your husband continues to return home to you & your children safely after each and every shift until retirement.

  2. Brian says:

    Bearmama – You have written a wonderful article, and hit the nail on the head! Having been in law enforcement for 30 years in Canada, I couldn’t agree more with you, the situations facing law enforcement have progressed 10 fold, and our good ol media just loves to stir the pot… I guess it means $$$ to them to raise society’s reactions to particular situations. A shame, as they hide behind their “freedom” protection of the 1st amendment – whether what they report is accurate of not. Policing in great Britian, Canada, the USA or anywhere else in the world isn’t any different when it comes to how the medias treat them – its sad. I loved your idea of a “no response day”, that may give the media hounds a bit of an eye opener!
    Wishing you and yours all the best!!!! Seasons’s Greetings

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